HOW ARE YOU

How Are You?

We all have been asked this question uncountable times and have responded a much as we have been asked. I bet in a day, you hear this question more than you can count. We shall be hearing this question asked many times and we have no excuse but to respond.  

How Are You?

It’s a simple, easy, everyday question that everyone answers with ease every time. The obvious response ‘I’m Fine’ rolls off our tongues effortlessly; without even thinking, sometimes. Is a response that is delivered naturally even in one’s sleep.

On the face of it, the How Are You? question is simple to respond to. But a closer look would reveal it is not. Why do I say this? Because the response has no real value, doesn’t really capture exactly how we are doing or feeling and we most times don’t believe in what we say.

Simple, the I’m Fine response to the How Are You question is nothing short of a lie we tell 

whoever asks us and ourselves to feel ok.

Why do we continue to give the I’m Fine response?

Perhaps it’s borne out of courtesy to whoever is asking us. Going out to say ‘I’m not well’ or any other response beside the expected would be greeted with some coldness.

Or it could be to avoid further probing from those who don’t have the right to ask further questions thus drawing a long, inquisitive search into your life for that day.

It could also stem from our religious background, where even if things are going off rails in your life, you trust God or whatever spirit that guides you to fix you by the end of the day. Power of positivism or optimism.

Could it also be that we just don’t care much about the response knowing even the one asking after you don’t really care. They ask because it is something expected- a casual question eliciting a casual response.

I recall listening to a BBC Radio programme ‘From Our Own Correspondents’ two years ago in which the reporter, newly posted to Russia, declared the Russians the most honest bunch when it comes to the question How Are You? They would, instead of ‘I’m Fine or Okay’ response, list all that is well with them.

Saying I’m Fine has become a default response too strong that we fail to express a contrary answer. Granted, if you are fine on that particular day or time, surely your response would be I’m fine. But, if the opposite is true, saying you’re fine is an act of deception, unless the question is a casual one which is soliciting for a casual answer. And I guess that’s what it is; a casual question deserving a casual response.

Or could it also be a question not about our ‘state’ or being but something which shares same weight as the regular Good morning? Until the respondent realizes that whoever is asking the question genuinely want to know how the person is doing, the question would surely receive a perfunctory response.

So, How Are You though?!!