A MILL CALLED RUMOUR

He was one person we the ‘neighbors’ were suspicious of. Not that he indulged in anything nefarious but then, some of his antics gave us cause to be slightly suspicious.  From his fashion sense to acquaintances to his effeminate behaviour, it wasn’t long before the rumor mill began to churn the ‘he’s gay’ label.

Some were too quick to express their homophobic stance by shunning his company. Others were not bothered so indulged him in all ‘friendly’ dealings.  But in all these, he failed to smell the ‘you seem gay’ bullshit under our breath. Perhaps he did smell but considered us a bunch of fucking cunts.

The suspicion went on for years. It was still a suspicion even when he found himself entangled in a fierce argument with another friend, an openly declared ‘male lover’ over a text message sent to him by the ‘boy friend’ of this ‘male lover’.

And as with every group, there’s that one slippery tongued member who will always breach the ‘Whatever-Happens- Among- Us- Stays- Here’ rule. And that was what exactly happened, affording us insight into why the fight between those two ‘buddies’.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks, after so many years, I received a message from him inviting me to HIS wedding. Instead of replying his message with ‘congrats my friend and all those I’m happy for you lines’, I chose to call a friend to ask if he had received any of such message. He responded ‘NO’ and inquired sarcastically if I’m sure he was marrying a real woman. We laughed.

I put in a call to him to congratulate him for taking the ‘bold and wise’ step and leaving some of us behind. ‘Try and make it’ he added. Minutes after the call, my buddy got in touch to announce he’s been invited as well. But before he hanged up he threatened to tell him how we have all accused him of being a gay for all those years.

Were we that quick to judge and ‘accuse’ him? Perhaps we were. As people we have the tendency to label others based on what we’ve seen or heard, albeit at first instance (after all first impressions last forever don’t they?). Some of our ‘judgments are informed by the rumours we hear-and most of them turn out to be false-like this situation.

It’s important not to judge a book by its front cover and the chapters in it but look at the illustrations at the back cover too. That way we’ll get to know, understand and appreciate the complete story. The egg has been splashed on many faces.  This humane gentleman is getting married and one must be there to watch how it’ll go down.

PS:  I’m shushing my mind from any unholy conspiracies.

        Judge me not by this post