GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO GROW

I am a music buff. I listen to anything rhythmically induced. Shakespeare is reported to have said that the world will have been a boring place without music and I agree with him. At least music or rhythm is found everywhere we go (apologies to MTN).

Hip hop is one genre I can’t stay without. I don’t mean the “modern” genre whose thematic areas include the degrading of womanhood, glorification of violence and the lavish display of wealth; either through videos or lyrics.

I’m talking of hip-hop songs that are thought-provoking-inspiring songs which talks about the afflictions and or the triumphs of life. Songs which shape and empower humanity positively.

In my young years growing up, I heard one song which till now chimes in my head. The heading of this piece is lifted from a line from that song “I CAN” by the American rapper Nas. In that song, he tells young kids never to give up on their dreams; strive to know their roots and aspire to achieve whatever goals they set for themselves but cautions them to take it one step at a time; for he says:” …don’t pretend to be older than you are. Give yourself time to grow…You don’t wanna be my age and can’t read and write”

Casting ones eyes wide across the swathes of our country, one thing is poignant. Young children nowadays have assumed the role of adults –either consciously or by default. They are acting up more like adults than children. And it’s not their faults. Rather, parents, guardians and the new “phase” of our time-economic encumbrances; fast lifestyle- seems to have made some parents less responsible. Parents and guardians are employing the pretext of” many demands on their limited time” to forcibly allow their children to grow up before they “grow up”.

The streets of Accra is replete with children; some as young as seven years hawking to supplement the household revenue or fend for themselves. Recently, it was reported that the EU is threatening to ban cocoa export from Ghana since evidence abound that the country is using child labour, a contravention of ILO convention.

I am a firm believer in the notion of supporting the family by children, albeit not at the detriment of their health, education and safety.

Urban life now dictates that parents leave home earlier than usual in the company of their family. So, children have to wake up at hours not conducive so that they are not left behind. Breakfast at the table on weekdays has become a luxury since they eat en route to school. Most of them sleep on their way. Explanation: not enough rest for these young souls!!

What about adolescents and teenagers? Again, the demands of life, coupled with the unfounded believe that an adolescent or teenager must be able to cater for him or her self means some parents abdicating their oversight responsibilities. Once the child has eaten, school fees paid and other financial obligations addressed, the rest must be the child’s responsibility. Whatever he or she indulges him or herself in-whether at school, with friends, at home-is none of the parents business. A cul-de sac thrown at these young people.

The make of these young ones-attitudes, knowledge-are shaped not by what their parents teach, but the media (TV, internet, radio). They watch everything and act accordingly. Is it any wonder, therefore that most parents are most often awed when they learn their wards are “messing” with some “undistinguished” form of behavior? The “vigilante” module of parenting which most parents experienced during their young days have waned and replaced by modern trends. I guess we can blame the new epoch of hustling and bustling to make it happen.

A distinguished businessman suggested on Springboard on Joy FM that mentoring young graduates is a difficult task for the simple reason (among others) that they (young grads) are not ready, if not unwilling to learn. They assume their University degrees are the “pathway” to succeeding. Most of them don’t listen and appreciate the fact that the “field” is different from the classroom. That is, theories are often times a slap in the face of realities or what pertains at the workplace. Learning the ropes of a trade; be it white collar or artisanship is important. But do we allow ourselves to grow?

Take a stroll through the (Accra) Mall or any other hot spot and watch the actions of these young ones. I won’t pass a judgment. Sometimes, I just can’t but to share in the shame of matured men accused of defilement. I dare say some of these men are oblivious of the noose they are putting their necks in because the “pose” of these young ladies are at variance with their age. I am not holding brief for the “perverts” and “pedophiles”. NO!

All I am saying is that some of those accused found themselves in this conundrum because they couldn’t discern the difference-age and attitude.

I remember in the not too distant past, in the company of some friends visited a neighbourhood around Tema. We reclined at spot whiles awaiting our host. A few metres away from our end stood these three young teens who apparently were looking for a ride to wherever. As is a curse with young men, we begun discussing them, from head to down. In came the riddle of whether they are matured or lactogen babies. All, except two, pegged their ages below 17 years. The other three guys were emphatic that the young girls might be within the 17 to 18 brackets.

Wanting to end this haggling, we solicited the view of the attendant.”They are small girls oo”, she responded.” The eldest is 16, the two others are 13 and 15 respectively”. Jaw dropping moments. We could not believe. Our surprise wasn’t borne out of the fact that their “dada bee” status might have influenced their physiological developments but their appearance was deceptive. From the discussion that followed, the three friends who put these young girls above 17 based their surmising on the girls’ body language and appearance (dressing).  What if it wasn’t their “hood” but rather somewhere else, what would these guys have done?

   It is imperative we delineate growth by age and growth through behavior. It is true that someone might be young but act old or maturely. The opposite also exists. But it is also important that younger people recognize the fact that they must act their age. They must “dzi” their lane. Growth is a process and must be taken one step at a time. As the Akan dictum put it “no matter how high a child stands, he can never see as far as an elder does”.

Give yourself time to grow.